i'm lol'ing all over my tits and ass - bryan havoc
it was late on a typical saturday evening. with the night still relatively young, myself one of my new recruits thorasine were whetting our appetites by camping a primae we had chased into a dead end system. as we were fighting the boredom by bumping each other around the gate, a shuttle landed on us.... and didn't jump
his mission item dropped, i looted it and we all went on our merry way
that is, until he convo'd me
what follows is our conversation:
Dirty Protagonist > hello
Blackfyre 001 > o/
Blackfyre 001 > game froze :(, I clicked jump long before you could have locked lol
Dirty Protagonist > shame
Blackfyre 001 > it happens
Dirty Protagonist > are you upset?
Blackfyre 001 > nope
Blackfyre 001 > just a shuttle
Dirty Protagonist > do you need this data card?
Blackfyre 001 > tho you cost me my mission, but that won't set me back much at all
Blackfyre 001 > yes plz
Blackfyre 001 > give you 200k for it if you bring it to Altbrard
Blackfyre 001 > to IX - Moon 8 - Concord Testing Facilities
Blackfyre 001 > will you bring it for that?
Dirty Protagonist > hold on a second
Dirty Protagonist > someone else convo'd me
Blackfyre 001 > np
Dirty Protagonist > hold on dude
Dirty Protagonist > this is messed up
Blackfyre 001 > what is that?
Dirty Protagonist > there's a cop after me man
Blackfyre 001 > a cop?
Dirty Protagonist > yeah dude
Dirty Protagonist > like a concord guy
Blackfyre 001 > in low sec?
Dirty Protagonist > hold on
Dirty Protagonist > i think i lost him
gooch 456 > FREEZE
gooch 456 > WHOOP WHOOP
Dirty Protagonist > SHIT
Dirty Protagonist > dude, unscramble me
gooch 456 > im going to have to ask you to pull over, sir
Dirty Protagonist > i can't pull over any more!!
Dirty Protagonist > you've got me as pulled over as i can get =[
Dirty Protagonist > seriously, you're going to blow up m ship
gooch 456 > SIR
Dirty Protagonist > wtf did i do?
gooch 456 > PLEASE CALM DOWN SIR
Blackfyre 001 > lol, well if you kill him, can you bring me the encoded data chip :P
gooch 456 > are you aware that you are in possession of an illegally obtained data chip, Mr. Protagonist?
Dirty Protagonist > what?
gooch 456 > that chip is the express property of CONCORD
Dirty Protagonist > no
gooch 456 > I'm going to have to ask you to turn around and put your hands on the side of you ship
Dirty Protagonist > you have to be shitting me
gooch 456 > You have the right to remain silent
gooch 456 > SIR
gooch 456 > IM GOING TO ASK YOU ONCE AGAIN TO CALM DOWN
gooch 456 > Where did you get this chip, sir?
Dirty Protagonist > i got it from this dude's wreck
gooch 456 > IM GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME
Dirty Protagonist > I GOT IT FROM HIS WRECK OK?
gooch 456 > Is this true?
gooch 456 > Blackfyre , is he telling the truth?
Blackfyre 001 > yes, that is my chip :P
Blackfyre 001 > and this is probably one of the best times I have had in eve lol, awesome job guys
gooch 456 > Are you aware that that particular chip was STOLEN FROM THE HEIMATAR MUSEUM OF NATURAL SCIENCE??!?!
Dirty Protagonist > look man, i just pulled it out of his shuttle
gooch 456 > at approximately 02:00 EVE, a suspect was seen fleeing the scene
Dirty Protagonist > seirously it was just sitting on the gate
gooch 456 > DONT INTERRUPT ME
Dirty Protagonist > you gotta believe me i didn't steal anything
gooch 456 > I"LL TASE YOU
gooch 456 > GET DOWN ON THE SHIP NOW
gooch 456 > its apparent you have the right to remain silent
gooch 456 > but not the ability
gooch 456 > I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me, sir
gooch 456 > both of you
gooch 456 > get in the car now
gooch 456 > NOW
Dirty Protagonist > fuck this. i'm outta here
gooch 456 > STOP
Dirty Protagonist > jam drones GO
gooch 456 > WHOOP WHOOP
gooch 456 > unit 456 requesting backup
Dirty Protagonist > weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Blackfyre 001 > lol
gooch 456 > im in pursuit in a suspect Dirty Protagonist
gooch 456 > citizen, im going to have to ask you to leave the area
gooch 456 > before i book your for illicit theft
gooch 456 > am i clear?
gooch 456 > GET OUT OF HERE NOW BEFORE I FIND SOME CRACK ON YOU
sometimes the aftermath is more fun than the actual scrap