Sunday, July 25, 2010

molden heath: come for the pvp, stay for the comedic relief

i'm lol'ing all over my tits and ass - bryan havoc

it was late on a typical saturday evening. with the night still relatively young, myself one of my new recruits thorasine were whetting our appetites by camping a primae we had chased into a dead end system. as we were fighting the boredom by bumping each other around the gate, a shuttle landed on us.... and didn't jump

his mission item dropped, i looted it and we all went on our merry way

that is, until he convo'd me

what follows is our conversation:

Dirty Protagonist > hello
Blackfyre 001 > o/
Blackfyre 001 > game froze :(, I clicked jump long before you could have locked lol
Dirty Protagonist > shame
Blackfyre 001 > it happens
Dirty Protagonist > are you upset?
Blackfyre 001 > nope
Blackfyre 001 > just a shuttle
Dirty Protagonist > do you need this data card?
Blackfyre 001 > tho you cost me my mission, but that won't set me back much at all
Blackfyre 001 > yes plz
Blackfyre 001 > give you 200k for it if you bring it to Altbrard
Blackfyre 001 > to IX - Moon 8 - Concord Testing Facilities
Blackfyre 001 > will you bring it for that?
Dirty Protagonist > hold on a second
Dirty Protagonist > someone else convo'd me
Blackfyre 001 > np
Dirty Protagonist > hold on dude
Dirty Protagonist > this is messed up
Blackfyre 001 > what is that?
Dirty Protagonist > there's a cop after me man
Blackfyre 001 > a cop?
Dirty Protagonist > yeah dude
Dirty Protagonist > like a concord guy
Blackfyre 001 > in low sec?
Dirty Protagonist > hold on
Dirty Protagonist > i think i lost him
gooch 456 > FREEZE
gooch 456 > WHOOP WHOOP
Dirty Protagonist > SHIT
Dirty Protagonist > dude, unscramble me
gooch 456 > im going to have to ask you to pull over, sir
Dirty Protagonist > i can't pull over any more!!
Dirty Protagonist > you've got me as pulled over as i can get =[
Dirty Protagonist > seriously, you're going to blow up m ship
gooch 456 > SIR
Dirty Protagonist > wtf did i do?
gooch 456 > PLEASE CALM DOWN SIR
Blackfyre 001 > lol, well if you kill him, can you bring me the encoded data chip :P
gooch 456 > are you aware that you are in possession of an illegally obtained data chip, Mr. Protagonist?
Dirty Protagonist > what?
gooch 456 > that chip is the express property of CONCORD
Dirty Protagonist > no
gooch 456 > I'm going to have to ask you to turn around and put your hands on the side of you ship
Dirty Protagonist > you have to be shitting me
gooch 456 > You have the right to remain silent
gooch 456 > SIR
gooch 456 > IM GOING TO ASK YOU ONCE AGAIN TO CALM DOWN
gooch 456 > Where did you get this chip, sir?
Dirty Protagonist > i got it from this dude's wreck
gooch 456 > IM GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME
Dirty Protagonist > I GOT IT FROM HIS WRECK OK?
gooch 456 > Is this true?
gooch 456 > Blackfyre , is he telling the truth?
Blackfyre 001 > yes, that is my chip :P
Blackfyre 001 > and this is probably one of the best times I have had in eve lol, awesome job guys
gooch 456 > Are you aware that that particular chip was STOLEN FROM THE HEIMATAR MUSEUM OF NATURAL SCIENCE??!?!
Dirty Protagonist > look man, i just pulled it out of his shuttle
gooch 456 > at approximately 02:00 EVE, a suspect was seen fleeing the scene
Dirty Protagonist > seirously it was just sitting on the gate
gooch 456 > DONT INTERRUPT ME
Dirty Protagonist > you gotta believe me i didn't steal anything
gooch 456 > I"LL TASE YOU
gooch 456 > GET DOWN ON THE SHIP NOW
gooch 456 > its apparent you have the right to remain silent
gooch 456 > but not the ability
gooch 456 > I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me, sir
gooch 456 > both of you
gooch 456 > get in the car now
gooch 456 > NOW
Dirty Protagonist > fuck this. i'm outta here
gooch 456 > STOP
Dirty Protagonist > jam drones GO
gooch 456 > WHOOP WHOOP
gooch 456 > unit 456 requesting backup
Dirty Protagonist > weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Blackfyre 001 > lol
gooch 456 > im in pursuit in a suspect Dirty Protagonist
gooch 456 > citizen, im going to have to ask you to leave the area
gooch 456 > before i book your for illicit theft
gooch 456 > am i clear?
gooch 456 > GET OUT OF HERE NOW BEFORE I FIND SOME CRACK ON YOU
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sometimes the aftermath is more fun than the actual scrap

Saturday, July 17, 2010

summer update 2010

"u guys don't just come into local. you knock down the damn door" - hoe bag

it's been a really long time since i posted. rest assured, i have not been sitting idly

since my last post, i returned to the old corp along with the core guys. we fooled around in awormhole for a bit, did a couple high sec wars and woke up in molden heath. we messed around with some ideas like changing the corp name (we were high school musical for a bit) but in the end, the call of low sec and its emergent pvp environment proved to be too much for us to resist

since moving into istodard, we have made some fantastic new friends- our politely coy pirate brethren of the gentlemen of low moral fibre, the notorious (serd cain E-ON FAMOUSE~~~) solo and small gang pvper sard caid and his gunpoint diplomacy crew, as well as some very crafty russians in delait just to name just a few

our exploits have been pretty overwhelming. coming from high sec where a 3-5b isk war was considered a smashing success, operations such as our absolute destruction of an ethereal dawn capital gang or our POS assault against electus matari (the major antipirate/rp alliance in the area) put that paltry sum and tiny effort quite soundly to shame

but large scale combat has never been our thing. thankfully, molden heath has proven to be an absolute haven for solo and small gang pvp. 1-5 guys can consistently go out and find fantastically fun fights all over the region any day of the week

hopefully i can spare a bit more time now to devote to relating tales of our exploits and the beauty of the molden heath region and its denizens